12:43am So much has changed...
In the course of a few weeks this spring, my wife decided that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship.. after 17 years. Rear-ended by a drunk driver in my RS6, so that was totaled. Lots of crap at work going on and now I have the sinking feeling that the 'trial separation' was sold to me as a lie and that this is it. Done. Not even respecting the relationship enough to try and save it. It is most likely due to another man she met online somewhere or something along the mid-life crisis area. Unfathomably she seemed happy that this was over. Not to me directly, but in what I am sensing from others around her and her FB posts (which she has now hidden from me). And now with our 6 year old daughter in the middle trying to be as brave as possible, not wanting to upset either of us, it is clear this is going to be 10 times more difficult for her than it will be for me. And it has been horrible for me. I say ME because it looks like it was pretty easy for my wife to leave. The whole situation makes me very sad, and incredibly sad when I think of my daughter. I have not cried so frequently since I was a toddler or perhaps when I was younger and my own parents divorced. When they divorced I had my brother which I believe helped the both of us get through that difficult time. Bella has no siblings to rely on. She does have great cousins who are sooo loving towards her and care so much that she is OK and happy and best of all occupied. It breaks my heart.
I have started writing again and last night pumped out about 10 pages recounting my married history. I am no where near done. Not likely it ever sees daylight though.
I doubt anyone actually reads this blog since it is hardly active and was solely about cars and even then not very interesting reading at that. Going forward this may be my subject of interest.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
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